散文─詩

白石火乃絵

偏向」をはじめて約二年が経った。ここでは、原則、散文を発表してきた。はじめからそのつもりだった。「詩想」を生むため……だがこれはおかしい、なぜならわたしはちょうどおなじとき、もう詩のほか書くまいときめていたから。詩をかく人で、散文をやって、詩がよくなったというひとをいまだかつてみたことがない。だが、散文を書いている当のその人はなにかやった気になっている。「批評」などといっている、あげくそれをひとにも書けという。商売の方では、エッセイを、ほんとうは小説をかいてもらえるとありがたい……ようするに詩には「社会性」がないということだ。社会のせいか、詩の書き手の未熟のためか、ニホン語の不具によるのか。社会性のない「書き言葉」は商品にならない? 

いや、エディタがそれを付与すればいい。だがこのエディタが、キャッチコピイと詩のちがいがわからない。というより、資本主義の出版流通においてはキャッチコピイがすべてなのだ。社会性ははなからもとめられてない、「文芸」っぽさがあればよい。そのっぽさ﹅﹅﹅は書店員がつくるので、エディタはそこにあてる。さて、書店を訪れたわたしたちはそこで空気をすう、幻想という名の、そこに加わりたいと想う、そうすれば何者かになれる? わたしはこの空気に混ざれぬ。そこに社会がないから。あるのは、「文芸」という名の「家族」、そのアトモスフィアだ。わたしが散文をかくのは、この「家族」にわたしの名を登記するためでない。べつにフロアちがいの「現代思想」の「家族」にも。政治は「家族」騒動。だがどの「家族」は家族でない。ひっきょうわたしの散文をかくのはいつもどうやってもわたしの家族ファミリ問題アフェアたいじ﹅﹅﹅しようとしてな気がする。たとえばこんな[以下、家族問題のマタア、「統合失調症」とむきあおうとおもったときすでになっていた散文─詩の系列が続きます]



                                             

Paju 1
Aru Ziki kara,Watashi ha Koe wo Usinatta──toifu koto ha tashikana yauda.Soredakedenaku(nominaradsu?)Hisseki womo douyaraWatashi ha usinatta(hyouki ha isikiteki no HONJI desu)rashii.Konosai,madsu Kanji,sorekara KATAKANA mo Aimaini shiteshimatte,hiraganasahemo meni mienakuteii,kotonoha denai Otonoha,sonnamonnono Hatsumeini Ima TACHIATTE iru.Fushigida.Kono Genguxo ha dokomadeikuka──Soreha sudeni watakusi no NAKA ni aru node(genri toha ihenai GENRI toshite),Buntai tomo nita kono Jidsukahi ha NanimononimomanedekinaiManesasenaiubawasenai(katsute arufutodokimonoga korewo nusundayauna Kao shiteita,Watashiwa sorewo Yurusanai Soreha Nusumenakutemo,sono okonahi wo Watashi wa Yurusu Koto ga Dekinai nazenarawatashiwakorewoHITO kara moratta nodakara,SidsukanaBYOSHITSU de,SAIAI no hito kara).MOUBOKUNIHA Koreshikanokotte Nai.Korewo ubawasetara mou bokuha nidotowarafukotohadekinakunarudarau.Dakara(shite)Kono 「ZICHOhenoHAIRYO」 ha(──KagaminoNakanoZichoSendatsusyayo,)Itamiyasuku Kohare Nai.WATASHINIFURERUNA.




Paju 2
Shi Nante ikurademo,yarouto Omohebaitsudemo Kakeru Kara koko deha SAMBUN wo ZETTAINI denai(Shi ga ippemmo Kakenai noni YomemoShiNAI noni Sauifu yatsuni kagitte Koe datoka Nikutai datoka GEIJUTSU datokaNukasu──koroshite iidesuka?)Watashi niha Shi ni naranaiyaunisuruhouga zutto zuutto MUTSUKASII(konnanimoikigatai noni?)Soreha Hadukasii koto dah.BOKAHSONOSUBETEWOusinatta,sono Hareyakasa.hah.Fusigida.Ichikara chikara Furishibotte tedsukara midzukarahe INDOU wo watashi,Omahewa sukoshi JIYUU ni Naru.NIPPONGO shika hanasenai,sorewo hito wo kidsutsuKERU kotonishika TSUKAHE Nai,sono ATATAKASA ni MEZAMETA asa.




Paju 3
Ah hah hah iy U.oryah JIKKENnante shitenaitai.Koedohri MOJI wo KAKU nante Sonnano Koe heno boutokudayou,Hoe.Boketto tsuttattetara POKETTO no Nakami nakushiteitaTeitaiTEITAI no A sa.Arashi no yauni SATTETTA Asasa,sono HAKANNANASA.Zaza──Zaza──Furisikittekiyagatta Ame mo yandasa,Jinruigamouichido Utsukusii SATSUJIN wo yumemichimafu shidsukasa,KASASA KASA,INN funnda Ninfu no harannaka TAIJI no Taiju ga WAnanaku HAKUA no maboroshi JURA no yume,Ootori no Ketsu Okkakete Ottatu CHIMPO,hebi no goto.Ah hah hah iy U! fusigida.Furu Furu yukino Touhokuchikaku kuchikara de makaseno Shi・Kwa・Kutsukahi no hitori de TUGAI no PIKACHU ga Shi no GENSHIRYOKU de(pieidogandafuriya)KAMI nari.soreha SHINSAI zengo ni KAMIdahri ninatteta juugoroku no boku nimo kikoe ta Samidare no Gogo,Inochi wo kaketahadsu no Tohoi MATSURI no Ato ni Owaranakatta boku no i no chi no OTO,Ichi Kyuu Kyuu GOOO ─ U.Zaza──Zaza──




Paju 4
Zaza──Zaza── Tsa Tsa no Pa pa,Taiko NIPPON dewa Mama ha HAHA ─ FAFA ─ PAPA de KAKA datta.Tsa Tsa no Pa pa de Pha Sha Pha Sha KAMINARI no KAKA wo MI ni hashirase,HaraDaiko CHAKAPOKO CHAKAPOKO.Koreniha kano Tsaratustra mo Choujin nante tokunowo yamete Amajo tachito Utahi Mahi Odotta to ifu.CHAKAPOKO CHAKAPOKO.Waza──Waza── Tsa Tsa no Pa pa,Papa ha NIPPON dewa Chichi to ifu ga koreha Tete to mukasi wa itta,TETE towa Okahsanno OPPAI nokotoda,Akanbou ga Sewa wo motomerutokiniifunoga tetede MAMA demo PAPA demo BABA demo ZIZI demo Akago wo sewasurutokiwa ZenSekaiKyoutsuu de Kare ha DANSEI nanodato ifu,Fa ─ Fa Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa,umaretekonokata watashitachi Jinrui ha Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa ─ Fa,kono KanashiiUta wo utahi tsudsuketeiru nosa,Tsa Tsa no Pa pa.Zaza──



Paju 5
〈HIDOKEI〉 
YOSHIMOTO RYUMEI  
[Onsyakugi:hinoe]

rengeSau ga Shikitsume-rareta Shiti-gwatsu-swe-goro no Noharade,Boku-ra ha Hidokei wo Tsukuri-ageta ─mono-datta    Boku-ra toifu─no─ha Bixyaujaku na Shounen to Shoujo-tachi de-atta
ima ha Gosui to Shinsen na Miruku no adgi to,Eisei-Kauwa to─sika Oboete-iynai─ga,sono-toki BOKU ha hitasura-ni midzukara─ga BixyauShin─to yobareru-koto wo Kenwo─shi,kakureru-yauni shite-iyta ─to Omofu
Hidokei no Moji-Ban ha  rengeSau no Shiki-mono de-ari,ARABIAsuuji ha HanaBana wo amnde Shoujo-tachi ga,koshirahe-ageta Danjou to-yobareru,Bugi no tame-no Tsuwe wo Boku-ra ha Chuushin ni Tixyokuritsu saseta   Shigosen-jyau wo Hi no Ken ha Moe-nagara tohotte-itta shi,BOKU ha Ihe-he─Kaherita-sa wo korahe-nagara,Nan no tame-ni mishiranu Shounen ya Shoujo-tachi to Issyo-ni Hidokei wo Mimamotte-iyna-kereba-naranai─ka wo Utagahasiku Omotte iyta

Sou-shite Nagai-ahida,boku ha Syounin─shi-nakatta ─to Omofu   midzukara─ga Bixyaujaku-de-aru ─toifu-koto ni tsuite,shikamo ano Hidokei wo Tsukuri-ageta Natsu no kiHadsukashi-sa ha,Kotonatta Shitsu ni kahe-rareta KAMPLEKS to-shite nagaku boku no kokoro wo shimete-iyta noda
Sorede shibashiba midzukara─ga Seijixyau-na-Mono no Sekai ni Kuwahe-rarete-iy-nai ─toifu-Isiki no Konseki ga,Ano Natsu no Hi,Onaji Nohara de Nanno Kousoku mo kuwahe-rarezu,HIDOKEI no-yauna Tchiye to Shifuchi ni tomonahareta─Asobi dehanai  Komnchuu-tori─nado ni Kake-mahatte-iyru Kodomo-tachi ni tai-shite BOKU ga idaite-iyta Ano-Kanji no uchi ni aru─koto wo shitta

Kounen boku ha Futatabi Hidokei wo Tsukuri-ageru─Kikwai mo,sono-yauna Tanosii-Zikan mo kesshite Motsu-koto ha naku,sikamo ano Shounen no Koro no Natsu no Hi ha Futatabi Otodzureru koto─ha nai ─toifu-koto wo Shinjitsu-ni Shitta ga,soreha Zikan to-Tomo-ni Nogarete-yuku-yauni─omohareru Seison wo betsu-ni Ayashimn-dari shinai-yauni ─to boku-ra ni Oshieta node-atta

boku ha Genzai mo BIRUDXINGU no Kage ga Hikari no Haukau ni tomonaharete Utsutte-yuku no wo Miru-toki,Boku no Hidokei ga Soko ni aru ─to Omofu
Soushite boku no kokoro ga Genzai ha Bixyoujaku na-no-de-ha─aru-mai-ka ─to……Mohaya Onaji Nakama wo Miidasu-koto mo dekidzu,mata Nani-mono ni-mo Ison-suru-koto no deki-nai Koritsu no uchi de,sore-ni Taheru-koto ni Naraha-sareta kokoro ga tubuyaku node-aru





Paju 52
〈ZIKAN NO SHOU〉 
YOSHIMOTO RYUMEI  
[Onsyakugi:hinoe]

Sidzuka-na Toki ha kono-uhe-naku Watashi-Midzukara wo Mamotte-yuki-ma-shita
ahare-na hitobito no Mono-gatari mo sashi-taru-hodo ni ha Watashi ni Kika-seru-koto mo nashi ni
Soshite Watashi-Midzukara mo ikanaru Fuukei ya Sauran ni-mo Mida-sare-nai
Tashika-na Zikan wo Mamoru-koto wo Shiri-ma-shita
TokiDoki ni Watashi no Kodoku ga marude Shi no Kage wo Otte-kite─ha
kono-uhe-nai Kurai-mono wo Tsutahete-yuku keredo
Watashi ha hitori de sore wo Taheru-koto ga deki-ma-su

Shidzuka-na Toki no Idou ha Watashi ni Oshihe-ma-shita
Kixyaushin ya Inori mo nai arifureta Saigetsu wo
tare─tomo wakatsu-koto-nashi ni mukahe mata OkuriSaru-koto de MichiTariru koto wo
Sorekara Watashi yori kokoro no Madsusii hitobito kara
Ihiwake wo shi-nai Kurashi wo suru-koto wo Narahi-ma-shita

amata no Watashi no Kurasa no Sifuseki,mata Womnna-tachi no Kuttaku no nai Kouta
watashi-tachi no Kisetsu ha samazama no Syukumei ni wake-rarete Hiraki-hazime-ma-su
Watashi-Midzukara no Kwansin ha Watashi no Kurasa no Sifuseki ni kake-rare
Shikamo Nani-goto mo Toku-koto no nara-nai Mizen no Sekai wo Osore-nashi ni Mukahe-ma-su
donna Kitai mo,donna Sabisi-sa mo
Watashi-Midzukara wo Korosu-koto ha Deki-ma-sen





Paju 53
〈KWAKIXYOKUSHISHIFUSAKUKAU〉 
YOSHIMOTO RYUMEI  
[Onsyakugi:hinoe]

       Mori no Uta
                     *
Mesame-yo!      kirara-ka ni Kaze ha Fuki-tari
SaiHoku no kata Ki naru iraka ha Kosiki-naru  Nou no urehi
Kentai no iro no Mori-nami no KiGI
okuBixyau-naru Tori no saedzuri
arayuru-mono ha kugumori-te Akatsuki ha itsu-made mo aru-maji

                     *
Mesame-yo!      ningen ha Oshi no MumaBiki﹅﹅﹅﹅﹅﹅
uru-meru JyaAku─awo-ki ha Ma no Mori no yue
Shi no iro ni-te Kahara no Sekik[kahara]
HakoFune ha YuuKi no mure
ara-yuru-mono ha fute-kusari─te itsu-made mo Nemuri-te a-ran,





Paju 6
Ekurichuuru wo Shime-Koro-sau    Imada katsute    Koe ha Moji ni kaka-re-ta─koto ga na-katta    kore-kara─mo Kessite    Moshi Tare-ka Kono-Boku no Bun kara Nanra-ka no Shimpi wo miida-shita tote Sore ga Nanda,    So-Fatt?    Moji ni made Ohi-komma-re-ta Pesshanko ni tsubu-sare-ta KAHERO no koe naki koe ga Nai to shire   Konseki ha OU Watashi ni totte ChiZyoku igwai no Nanimono de-mo nai
Ano Iki wo Boku igwai no Tare ga katsute Otodsure-ta-koto ga Atta-rau─ka Soushite Boku ha Midzukara no DziuRixyau wo soko he hakobu-mahe ni mou-tokku ni Mimi no naka de Ohara-nai Kemono-michi no Chisuzi wo  toho-tte sono OTODSURE wo kii-te ita Tohoku Chikaku ano Ootori-tachi no Toki-Naki-Goee wo Ho! Ho!

Yosi,madsu YOSHIMASU Gouzou wo Koro-sau Moji-dohori Moji-dori─tachi no Toki-Naki-Goee no Mumei ni oite    kono Sagi-shi ha Yo-watari─Zixyauzu de Omote-dohori wo Nise-Shijin─Gaho de tsumashi-ku Ahou-dori no Tsubasa wo hiroge-te aru-ite-iru keredo DSUNAU-NO-TAFU de tou-no Mukashi ni JixauShi-shi-ta no-ni,Syuppatsu-ten kara sude-ni atta USO no tame Iki-nagarahe-ta Zicho-Sendatsu-sya de,sonna-no Omahe mo Watashi mo Onnaji Iki-te-re-ba Futsuu no Gendai-jin no Kanasi-sa ni sugi-mai─ga ( aA,koko-made Utsushi-ta toko-de Watashi ha mau sude-ni SatsuI wo naku-shi-te shima-tta,sore-ha sakki Koro-su-mahe nen-no-tame saigo ni KONGEN-nO-TI wo Yomi-kahe-shi-TI-ita-ra Hajime-TI no kimoTI ga OmoHI-da-sare-TI-matta kara ──da ga Shikahi! ), sore wo Osyare ni Ki-Kaza-tte marude Shi ga Iki-te-iru─yau-ni mise-kake-te─iru    Don-na Hauhou de Korosu( ──Shi-nin wo? ) to-ifu─to sore ha Kantan de,Ekurichuuru wo Sime-Koro-se-ba ii OU Sono-Toki Shijin ha Yomi-gaheru darau    Watashi ha Idzime-kko da-tta kara Idime-rare-kko datta Shijin wo Idzime-zu─ni-ha─okare-zu sono-koto ni yotte kokoro-nara-zu ─mo Ahite wo waka-tte shimafu Watashi wo HOU-TTE-OITE-KURE ga Kamatte-kure─toifu fuu-ni-sika Araha-se-nai Akuma de-mo KIRISUTO demo─nai Idzike-ta Kusha-Kusha──《 Kachiku no Seiki yori SHIFUAKU ni mieru Mago no Kaho 》(『KURAITABI』KURAHASHI Yumiko)AA Watashi ha Omahe no Kaho ga Kirahi da soshite Omahe ha Subarasii Naze-nara Minikui Watashi-tachi KAMI na-ki Gendai-jin sono-mono no EEAI-Seisei no Hahi-iro Noppera-Gaho wo shi-te iru─kara Dakara Watashi ha Omahe wo EKURICHUURU to-tomo-ni Moji-dohori Korosu,Moji-dohori no Genzitsu nado Ari-ha-shi-nai,Shi-teki─SatsuGai moji-dohori Gai wo Korosu    Subete no Syomotsu to-tomo-ni    Muisyukin,Eien-no-Otto yo《 Oto-nashi-Kaze Fuki-tohori 》(「harukasuru surusurunagara Ⅲ」YAMAMOTO Youko)
Ri(ng)Ri(ng)Ri(ng)  Ri(ng)Ri(ng)

GOON(G)   GOOOON(G)    GOOON(G)
(kesuna)   (kesuna)     (kesuna)

《Futa-ri ha anmari Kokoro wo Itame-ta tame-ni,Kaho ga maru-de Kusha-Kusha no Kami-Kudzu no yau-ni nari,Otagahi ni sono Kaho wo Mi-ahase,buru-buru Furue,Ko(iy)e mo naku Naki─mashi-ta》(『CHUUMON-NO-OHOI─RYOURI-TEN』MIYAZAWA Kenji)

目次へ